My oven is filled with literal buns of the cinnamon variety.

You already know this story if you’re my friend on facebook, but maybe you aren’t!  And if you are, the full story bears telling anyway. 

I went to church by myself today because Olivia was pretty congested.   As church ended, I stopped to talk to a man (who will remain anonymous because I’d hate for women to walk around slapping him upside the head for the future events of this story).  It was a pretty crowded hall and there were several people standing behind me who were also waiting to speak to this man.  He smiled, asked me how I was doing, then beamed down at my stomach and asked, “And when is your baby due?” 

To make everything clear for every person here, I AM NOT PREGNANT. 

I was really startled, so I just blurted, “Uhh, never!  Because I’m not pregnant?” 

(I wish I’d handled it a little better and more kindly.  I was just so surprised!)

He didn’t say anything for a second.  He just kept looking from my stomach, up to my eyes, back to my stomach.  Which was pretty unflattering, if you’d like to know the truth.  He kind of stammered, “Oh! Uhm, I…”  So I just held up my hand and said, “It’s ok!  Don’t worry about it!”  Then I kind of wiggled my raised hand awkwardly, like a spasmodic little wave, murmured “Bye!”, and booked it out of there.  There are at least 5 witnesses of our interchange; I’m sure they all died a little on the inside for both involved parties.  But I like to think they had a pretty great story to share later.

I’m not offended, it’s pretty hilarious.  And I feel realllly bad that guy.  Because I know I’d feel like a complete idiot in reversed roles. 

The lesson:  Never, just NEVER!!!, ask anyone about being pregnant unless you are 107% certain they are actually are.  And even then, it might not be safe. 

The other lesson:  While you may feel like you look totally skinny in an empire waist dress?  You probably just look pregnant. 

I have gotten a little behind on picture posting lately.  I have, like, a billion.  I also have, like, a problem.  With excessive picture-taking.  Anyway, Olivia is totally getting in on my obsession.  She asked if she could take some pictures at the park the other day.  So, with the little safety wrist-strap wrapped securely around her carpus, she took these:

I feel like this looks like a senior picture or something.

And before you think I’m a negligent parent for not enrolling Olivia in photography preschool posthaste, I’ll tell you she took about thirty-nine pictures of her big, pink finger, and also, this one:

Then she let me take over.

Olivia never wears shoes, in case you were wondering.  I mean, sure, places like the grocery store and the mall aren’t negotiable, but I can’t keep her shoes on anywhere else (as long as it’s safe, obviously).  But actually, I kind of love that about her. 

These ants, also seen in Olivia’s photography, were endlessly exciting.  She just loves bugs so much.  It’s weird!  And gross!  And super cute, too.

 

Ok, so I was searching around my old Olivia videos last night and I found these two gems.  I don’t think I ever posted the first.  Probably because I hate videos that feature my voice heavily, particularly when it sounds congested.  You will see (hear?) what I mean.  These were both taken when she was just barely two.  Tiny!  You just have to promise me something before you watch these.  You have to be really, really, super careful while watching, because they’re so cute, you might actually die.

Sorry the sound makes it a little hard to understand her.  The snort to which she is referring is this guy from the book Are You My Mother?:

This second video I’ve posted before, but I still love it.

I hope you’re still alive to read this!  Can you believe how much change can happen in only a year??  Wahhhh, but also, Yay!!!